Anx-i-et-ea

I have a new theory. Actually, I'm pretty sure this aint new. Caffeine makes me panicky. Green tea gives me "anx-i-et-ea". Does everyone have anxiety these days? Seems like it. For me, it's all about the coffee and tea. And today, I had a coffee AND a tea. Stupid stupid little lady. 

So, I just had a little episode at a little party. I just had to get the fuck out of there! Didn't even say goodbye to anyone. Now I feel guilt. Not just any old guilt, anxious guilt. Ick. Anyway, I decided to just go with it. I know that's probably not what the shrinks would suggest. I think "going with it" leads to agoraphobia, but for now, it's all I can do. Anyway, this is a bit deep, but I just thought I would share because I'm sure every single one of you has felt this way before.

My big conundrum is the coffee/tea consumption vs productivity trade-off. Without the coffee I'm a blob of useless goop but with the coffee I'm a ball of nervous energy.  With coffee I do get more work done, in short bursts, but I follow that up with a few hours of wanting to squeeze something really tight until it bursts. I almost feel like collecting data on my productivity with and without coffee. If only there was a way to measure how destructive those panicky times are to my general sense of well being. I think they are pretty bad. Okay, now I've hit the wall. Time for bed. I'm sure I'll sleep like a baby. Not a good baby though; one of those bad babies that scream all night. Poor N. Poor Dougy.